Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Lasagna Incident

Ok, well, its 8:05 and I'm supposed to be going out in half an hour or so to the Hop n' Brew (my favorite Calgary pub) for a friend's birthday. So I made some lasagna for dinner just before I left (the frozen kind). I then went up to my computer to eat the lasagna whilst watching an episode of Family Guy.

My computer desk isn't very big. With the monitor in the way I only have about 20 cm of space to put a plate on. My plate is ~25-30 cm in diameter, leaving 5-10 cm hanging off of the table.

When one applies downward force with a fork to the 1/3 of the plate that is hanging over empty space, something interesting happens, I learned. The plate flips up and lands upside down in your lap. Then, you must decide if it is more important to save the lasagna you just finished making so you can eat it, or to save your legs & crotchal area that are starting to 'feel the burn'. Myself, I chose to save the lasagna... flipping the plate over and grabbing the steaming hot lasagna with my hands, depositing it back on the plate.
It really hurt.
But I was pretty hungry.

So anyway, since I'm moving soon I had just put all of my decent clothes in the washing machine, keeping one decent set to wear out this evening. Naturally, this was the set of clothing I was wearing when I dumped freshly cooked lasagna on myself. The stain on the crotch area made it look like I had pissed my pants with some kind of horrible bladder infection. All I had left were sweat pants.

Also, since I burnt the inside of my thighs a little I have this little bow-legged walk I have to do to keep the pants away from the skin. It looks stupid.

So in conclusion, fuck it I'm not going out tonight. Ah well, I should be packing anyway...


Anonymous said...

I told you! Nothing ever good came out of eating lasagna.

GDSever said...

ROFL @ your pain...

That was priceless. Sorry for the hot crotch and the lasagna loss... but you definitely made me chuckle.

Ben, aka BadBen said...

Whoa! Lasagna is like the napalm of food, (next to hot oatmeal of course). Hopefully you've healed-up ok. Pretty funny story, though.